Upon logging into My Fitness Pal this morning, I scanned through the past 2-3 days of posts from my newly widened circle of friends and saw a lot of negative comments. Not about others, but about oneself. This type of self-shaming is, in my opinion, harmful, counter-productive, and indicative of the lack of the right mindset to make a lifelong sustainable change.
It is harmful because there is already a larger social problem of body shaming -- whether you are too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short -- discrimination against anyone not falling within the definition of perfect is a real problem. By mocking and negatively pointing out what we view as our own physical shortcomings, we are contributing to and perpetuating this form of discrimination. Loving your body even at this time of transition is necessary -- even if it isn't yet the body you dream of -- you should love it and not shame it. Because isn't the reason we are getting healthy because we love and care for ourselves?
It is counter-productive because it fails to acknowledge the very good things you are doing. Instead of knocking yourself down for not doing this amount of exercise today, or not hitting your macros, or going over on your calories -- reframe this as -- what did I learn from today? What can I do different in the future when faced with these choices? Negative thinking can be more of a setback than the actions or decisions you are scolding yourself about -- viewing your actions negatively frames this very positive experience in a negative light. I would venture to guess that most of us are not here because we have 10-20 pounds to lose that were gained during something like a pregnancy or perhaps recovery from a major surgery or accident that prohibited us from engaging in activity or eating right after a lifetime of doing so. Most of us are here because we have a significant amount of weight to lose that was gained over many, many years of not making the healthiest choices for our bodies. And that is POSITIVE and you shouldn't forget that.
It is indicative of the wrong mindset. As I said above, most of us are probably here because we are changing a lifetime of unhealthy habits. It took us many years to develop the previous eating and exercise habits we are now trying to change -- those habits are not going to change in a week or a month. This is all about trial and error, it is about becoming comfortable in your own skin during this time of great transformation. I really dislike words like "cheat" -- and I see this SO frequently. If we do not make the best choices for a single meal or even a day -- this is NOT cheating. We are in the process of learning -- and whether you are learning a new sport or learning a new subject -- you are going to fall down and you are going to get less than a perfect grade. You are learning -- and falling down or getting a bad grade is part of the learning process. You make choices -- you see the outcome -- and if you are not happy with the outcome or cannot accept it -- then you make adjustments.
Further, viewing a treat or a larger meal as a "cheat" or a failure, to me, reflects a mindset that you are not ready to make a sustainable, lifetime change in the way you approach your health. Never allowing yourself sweets, or a big carby meal, or whatever it is that you view as your food weakness is NOT sustainable. Food can be a very enjoyable and pleasurable thing -- and for me, it is very healthy to allow yourself to enjoy it -- and if you change your thinking from this restrictive "I can never have and I'm cheating if I do" so a more sustainable "This is okay as part of my overall path to wellness" you will be more successful. For me, the largest part of my effort is on how I think about food -- it is no longer a comfort or a reward or a punishment. Exercise also -- it is not punishment or a have to. It is part of my life - it is necessary and pleasurable. And food also -- it is necessary, it is pleasurable.
